I was going through my twitter account the other day and i came across this quote that seriously made me take a step back and think about some things ‘we define love the way we experienced it‘, if you really think about this it’s going to bring back some memories, both happy and painful, but deeply think about this quote before continuing to read this, i want you to all get in your feels whilst reading this blog..
The thing about relationships in this generation is, they’re completely and i mean COMPLETELY different to what they were like ‘back in the day’, old school dances have turned into whining and twerking on each other in the clubs, romantic outside cinema dates have turned into, Netflix and chill and ‘oops we just had sex, i’ll delete your number and never see you again’ and introducing your partner to your parents and being shit scared if they’re going accept the one you love has turned into bringing different people home each week and not caring if your family get to know them or not, i am not saying this is the same for every single relationship out there (i’d like to pray and believe that the old school love still exists), but in this generation, the word and meaning behind LOVE has disappeared and become a myth.
I’m sure a lot of us have been in relationships before, each and every one of us have experienced love in a different way, that is a point that i can’t stress enough, just because you love someone a certain way does not mean that every next person that you meet is going to love you the same way that you expect love to be, does that make sense? Your idea of love may be putting your partner all over social media, posting pictures of them everywhere, making sure that EVERYONE and ANYBODY knows that you two are together, whereas your partner may have a completely different view on love, they may think that keeping things between you both and not having the whole world know about your business and just enjoying each other’s company is their idea of love, this may cause some issues between you both.. in fact, it most likely is going to cause issues, but if you do not go into that relationship remembering that ‘we define love the way we experienced it‘ then it’s going to be very difficult for you to try to adjust and compromise with your partner.
Your partner has most likely been loved by someone before, you don’t know how that person was treated in their previous relationship, they may have been emotionally abused throughout their entire relationship and because of that they may be very insecure about themselves and find it hard to accept compliments or your love, they may have experienced a happy type of love where they were constantly given attention, phone calls 24/7, constant gifts, constant compliments and if you are not used to this type of love they may feel some type of way and they may feel that you are not that much into them, but that is not the case, you are just not used to that type of love. My advice for you, before you get into any relationship;
- GET TO KNOW THE PERSON, spend time truly understanding them as a person
- Find out their likes, their dislikes, not just that, but find out WHY they like the things they like, WHY do they dislike the things they hate
- Make sure you understand what they want and expect from a relationship, if you can’t provide that for them or if you feel like you are not ready for such commitment then spare yourself the time and spare the person their feelings, if you are not for them, let someone else fall in love with them
- Find out about their past relationships, find out who hurt them, find out what made them happy in a relationship, find out what scares them about relationships, connect with that person, let them know that you are there for them and that you want to give them a type of love that they have never experienced, YOUR love
I’m sure i can think up of a lot more, but to finish this short blog off, no matter what relationship you are going to get into next, that person is going to be bringing the love that they once experienced with them and so are you, this is natural because it’s the only love that you have known… up until now that is, you may have been loved in a certain way before but remember so has your partner, put everything on the table, communicate with each other, compromise with each other and most importantly create your own type of love, this is something so special that no one in the world is going to have and also remember that ‘we define love the way we experienced it‘ but as their new partner we can fix them again.
Be sure to share this and share your views
Lots of love,